Trail of Butterflies

Trails...

2006-02-06T19:37:25Z

New awakenings... new set backs... but still striving forward. Stubborn or simply thriving to go on... whatever the cause, still I pursue.

After recovering from the accident, I was hit with the stupid stomach flu from my brother. From 5:30pm to a half hour after midnight I was stalking the lily white basin. -sigh- But, after losing hours of sleep, a shade or two of skin tone gone, and a frail body you could knock over with the next stray zephyr outside... the butterfly returns. And not empty handed. While sick, I grabbed the camera and decided to share my view of the inside world, to the fullest. So go ahead... and...

What is my inside world? Where my creativity is spent in large amounts. Where nightmares haunt... dreams comfort... words pour onto paper... music flows... and tears are shed. In other words... my room.

Entering... (Goodness I hate the color my mother chose for this room. -giggle- )

But slowly things change... and Another World is opened...

Here the Journey Begins...

Do you recall my vivid memories and dreams? Here is where they start... here are Where Nightmares Begin...

Berlioz... Curiosity got the cat... better watch yourself!

A Green Haven... of my most beloved green companions... Even in the dead of Winter... they still thrive upon love.

Here is where you can find... Spilled Tears.

The last song played... and a rekindled love... Forever Love.

Go ahead... go on... keep Exploring.

Take the corner, and find Another Crevice... Berlioz!

Behind the Ivy Screen...

Hidden from view... and nestled in quietly... is Where Dragons Lie...

Here you can catch a misty glance of the Sleeping Dragons.

Continue on...

My inside world is not just a habit... it's A Way of Life.

Aa, those songs... truly... Music Feeds the Soul.

Tired in the afternoon... please... Kneel In Peace.

Travel another side... to A World of Treasures...

Each of these pieces were given to me in honor of my Family Heritage.

There, those two doors... lead to a balcony... my Gateway to Freedom... freedom from my mind.

If you have noticed... Golden Dragons Surround...

And Protect me...

What is any room without a bit of A Tribute?

Lastly... we all know he was trying to worm his way into hearts... so here he is... A Beautiful Face... Monsieur Berlioz.

-waratte-

Following an Unmarked Trail...

2006-02-04T05:45:19Z

I took a run yesterday, and ran down an unmarked trail... it twisted far into the woods until I found myself completely surrounded by the silence. Well, save for the sound of BUCK-TICK's Asylum Garden in my earbuds... -waratte-. It was absolutely amazing, and I wish now I had been able to take some pictures. I will give a proper update soon, I promise, but until then... use up this link to the soundtrack for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Danny Elfman is the composer, and if you know me well, you know I am a huge fan of his works.

-hugs- Recovery update? I'm 100% better... make that another 10% on top of that. ^^

Isshi? Hontou? ^^

2006-01-26T23:21:02Z

This is a creative little community made to find your Jrock clone... I tried it on a whim, and have been stamped as Isshi from Kagrra at jrock_clone!!! Check it out for yourself HERE

After posting a few of my own pictures after throwing together some facts, people comment as to which Jrocker best suits you by looks. Clever isn't it? There are some really beautiful people on the community as well! So check it out! I'm getting ready to go out this evening, but other than that, the day has been pretty uneventful. I hope everyone is doing well.

A couple of notes to some people however...

clever_keloid... gomen nasai about last night. I was interrupted in my search for your phone number. And thus a half hour after I said I would call you, the phone kept ringing. Gomen... -sigh- I'll try you sometime tomorrow perhaps.

To naughty_ookami... I do hope that your creativity has been brought back through writing. And yes, I can't wait for Silent Hill to come out, it looks really awesome! Thanks for sharing the info. Also, good luck with your homework load.

And to jadedhazeleyes Thank you so much for your e-mail... that made me smile so much... and it made my day just... wonderful! You look so pretty! -hugs- Arigatou Hana-chan.

And to everyone else... thank you for your concern and thoughts for my health and well being. I am doing 95% better... and I am smiling as always. -hugs to all- Take care everyone!

Another Snowy Night...

2006-01-24T20:20:56Z

The snow is on the ground now and quite frozen now due to last night, so it has that lovely 'crunching' sound when you step on it. But, yesterday was quite beautiful as it fell. And I had a few guests visit my yard while I was drinking tea. Anou... come and

As I looked out the frosted window, I watched as a couple deer wandered into view, then a few more... until I smiled when I counted six deer. Two does and their grown fawns. I've watched these deer grow from late summer early fall... and they are getting so big! So I have a few pictures to share. -Waratte- And also, a picture of the Castle on a Cloud that morning... enjoy.

Eating acorns... ^^

All six of them...

Mama and her fawn...

They heard voices of approaching hikers...

And then in a blink of an eye... they were gone. -Waratte-

Music Meme.

2006-01-23T16:51:09Z

I grabbed this from bass_no_toshiya And I thought it was pretty interesting. So follow the

I found this to be very amusing. Try it out after you finish reading. I have included the optional download of the songs I received as answers, but you don't have to if you don't want. ^^ I just thought I'd let the curious people test out some of these songs. -hugs- So enjoy.

Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?
- Down Time- Akira Yamaoka and Rika Muranaka (Silent Hill Soundtrack) [I suppose their views are a bit unclear… this sounds a bit angst-filled.] Download Down Time

Will I have a happy life?
- 가버려- G.고릴라 (G. Gorilla) [U2 cover song I think.^^] =lovely song…= Download 가버려

What do my friends really think of me?
- 안락사- G.고릴라 (G. Gorilla) [Oh I really like this song… his voice range... -sigh-] Download 안락사

Do people secretly lust after me?
- Psycho Love- Skid Row (Wow… I had no idea… But oh man does this song rock... got to love the 80's.) Download Psycho Love

How can I make myself happy?
-Snow Drive- Charcoal Filter (Really? Of course! I love the snow! It does make me very happy! And this is a good song as well. ^^) Download Snow Drive

What should I do with my life?
- Don’t Cry- Akira Yamaoka and Rika Muranaka (Silent Hill Soundtrack) [Oh dear… anou… okay.] Download Don't Cry

Why must life be so full of pain?
- Bite to All- Gazette (ガゼット) [That would explain why everyone is in pain… ow! XD] Download Bite to All

Will I ever have children?
-Woo Hoo- 5,6,7,8’s… [Whoa… what is that supposed to mean? XD]Download Woo Hoo

Will I die happy?
- Severe Gun Fight At The Hill Of Casualties- Yasushi Ishii (Hellsing OST) [I suppose not…]Download Severe Gun Fight At the Hill of Casualties

What is some good advice for me?
- Tokyo Shinjuu- Gazette (ガゼット) [Alrighty… I'll just go to Japan to figure that out. ^^ I can deal with that.] Download Tokyo Shinjuu

What is happiness?
- A New Name… A New Life- John Williams (Memoirs of a Geisha OST) [Beautiful song…]Download A New Name... A New Life

What's my favourite fetish?
- Becoming a Geisha- John Williams (Memoirs of a Geisha OST) [Interesting…] Download Becoming a Geisha

How will I be remembered?
- Eyes on Me- Angela Aki (awe…)Download Eyes On Me

A note to Hana-chan, thank you so much for giving me G.고릴라 (G. Gorilla)... they are absolutely amazing. -Waratte- Oh, and if anyone else is interested in more music by any of these artists, let me know. I'd be happy to upload albums. ^^

Oops! I was tagged by kiku_kitten

List three of your favourite jrock bands.
List three jrock bands you dislike.
Tag six people.

Liked:
♪ Gazette
♪ Dir en grey
♪ MUCC

Disliked:
♪ Moi dix Mois (a bit too much for me... gomen)
♪ Psycho le Cemu
♪ Elle Garden (I think they're Jrock...)

Oh, and I'll tag... peffkitten, sue_eh_syde, rei_suzaku, piratemedallion, z_kun, naughty_ookami

^^ Okay, I did my share. -tags- You're it!

And updates on how I'm doing... still sore, but I'm regaining my mind. Which is always a good thing. -Waratte- And, it snowed last night.

Recovery

2006-01-21T20:14:21Z

The process is long, and a bit painful. But dealing with this is an awakening moment of how much worse I could have been. Insurance has covered our vehicle and the other. Evidently it was an old model Jeep Cherokee and it was 'totaled'. My Mother was just relieved I didn't hit anything newer. (Or more expensive)

The medication I was given has been making me very dizzy and sleepy all day. One minute I'll be straightening up my room, the next... I'm out cold on the floor. -Shakes head- It's really not comfortable knowing that I'm taking medication. For some reason, it always scares me. But other than that, life has continued as it normally does.

I finally got to watch Star Wars Episode III. It was very good, I almost cried... well maybe a tear or two. It was quite well done. I suppose I just was afraid that it was going to be like the first two. _{Which kind of sucked in my opinion} I apologize for any die-hard Star Wars fans out there! I just never got into them like that.

Drinking tea and trying to up my fluid intake is more difficult than it sounds. The medication called for me to do that. Maybe this is why I've been getting light headed and sleepy. -shrugs- Aa, well. Speaking of which, I'm getting dizzy again, I think I might lay down. -frowns- And I wanted to go outside today... oh well... -hugs to all- Thank you all for your comments of encouragement and concern. It means so much to me.

Oh, and one more thing... my newest avatar/icon for LJ was created by oulan. I requested it a bit ago, and here it is. ^^ -stumbles into room- Ja ne! -waratte-

Fear

2006-01-20T20:06:09Z

Aware of the darkness and the ambient of the mood. Coming and going, there were not many memories. Red and green lights flash in mind and the low hum of a passer by. Chills down a road so frequently taken, perhaps a guard or two were let down. Moving to turn vision to a new road and it stops. A torrent of lights and impact so frightening as my fingers gripped round the object they once barely touched. A sickening blur of vision as a cry filled the air. Waiting in fear of the moment to pass, wishing once more, this be a nightmare. Hands shaking in uncertainty as the murr died down. An angry voice and bloody knuckles. The vehicle lurched when coaxed to the side, feeling the pain of an ill fated night. So cold was the evening and it all rushed in at the side as people moved close. Shouts of 'you're going to be all right...' ...'are you okay?' ... 'do you feel pain?'... 'I've called 911'... 'they should be here soon.' ...'You look so scared, it's alright...'

Words and kind phrases fell upon almost deaf ears as shaking knees were drawn up to a fast beating chest. Breathing was hastened and violent. Gasping for air and fighting back tears. Knuckles turned white and the color drawn ghostly upon a shocked face. The sound of a siren in the distance as well as a glittering red and blue about the buildings surrounding the scene. A shrieking woman, so angry and hateful. Shouting curses towards the one in silence. Feeling the pounding in head and heart as a full uniformed man stopped at the door. 'Are you alright?' ...'Do you need hospital attention?' ... only a shake of the head was his answer as shaking hands passed a few pieces of paper and a card to his own black gloved ones. Curses continued to come louder than before, a vivid memory of being referred to as 'that bitch'. How well she must have been for such words to come out. Perhaps that was a sign of her fast recovery. Prayers are with her, though such hateful spouts came forth.

Trembling and breath caught, the first step upon solid ground, grasping the silver side of the companion long known. A sense of fear grasped the heart as where should be a piece... is now gone. Sharp edges crushed inward. Dropping to sore knees and crying aloud, ill fated to be the night of ambient silence. Escorted, the body shaken and stumbling as keys dropped to the ground... twice picked up in the short distance covered. A black and white door opened before, trembling as the slight figure entered and watched as it heavily shut behind. Recorded messages echoed on a black device, numbers and mundane 'do you copy'... how it hurt. Fear. Tears rolled down painted cheeks in the dark, contrasting white skin, visibly shaking. A well known piece of heart pulled onto an awaiting vehicle and taken down the dark road not ventured that night.

Driven to a place of sanctuary, what was said that night, remains a mystery. No call to familiar voices could happen, for none answered at the Castle on a Cloud. Enveloped at sight in the arms of those who saw the shaken figure, perhaps lifeless could be said at this point. Dizziness... sickness to the stomach as she was brought to another vehicle, and taken back to the Castle. Collapsing upon soft fabric adorning the furniture and crying once more. Tears flowed now, not hidden as once they were. Salt stung the bare cheeks, the paint washed away. A nightmare come to reality... nausea took over. Given a white pill and all was still for the dreamless night to take over the waking nightmare...

Pain coursed through a body now awake to the new sensation that was warned of previously. Taken in silence to a place long feared. Shouts of torment shattering the twisted mind, which once was sane. Stainless white walls... how they stung the tired eyes. Familiar and yet all the same strangely clad figures hustled by holding long needles in hand. Tears and blood waited in the room... as the one in silence continued to shake. Called by last name and then by first... following a dark haired woman into a room all alone. Grasping at walls and terrified once more. The door was shut, and left with strange robes. After changing and forced to feel self-concious... a man with no hair walked in with a smirk. 'Heard of your accident, it is good you're alive.' Silence answered. 'I'm going to see what is aching... tell me when it hurts.' Cringing at the touch and nodding violently. And after many pokes and cold touches, he stopped. 'A mild concussion and muscle spasms, here is your prescription. Take care and rest. It should be over ina couple of weeks.' Walking with nausea once more to the vehicle, driven home... to my Castle on a Cloud...

I was involved in a car accident last night at 5:54 pm. The roads were dark, and as I made my turn on green... a woman in the oncoming traffic hit my vehicle hard, throwing me forward. I was wearing my seatbelt, for I would not have it any other way. I had been on my way to pick up a friend for coffee, but alas, it wasn't fated to be so. The woman was screaming at me, I can still hear her in my head. It seemed, she had enough time to hit her horn... but not her brakes. The officer did not fault anyone... and did not sight me so no record of this will be on my license. For this I thank God. My parents were worried sick about me as they came home 45 minutes after I got home. They had no clue... and I was so scared because I couldn't get a hold of anyone. This was my first accident, and the officer said that had she hit me any harder, the glass would have shattered and the Trailblazer would have in a sense 'imploded'. I was strangely fortunate. I suppose it all happened so quickly... she must have hit me going about 35-40 mph... where as I had just picked up speed to make a turn.

'That bitch didn't even ask if I was alright.' She scared me, and those words still echo in my head. But that is over now... and I am fine. A little shaken.. well, quite a bit. But I will do my best to recover quickly from this. My mind will take the longest perhaps. -Waratte- I am on medications now... much to my own horror... something the doctor told me was that I will become very drowsy. So I may be online sometimes... and may be off sleeping... if you call and you get the answering machine, go ahead and leave a message, I'll get back to you. -sighs- I'm in a bit of pain, so I'm going to try and get some sleep now. But I wanted to share with you all, and more importantly, tell you I'm okay. -hugs-

A Night of Ice

2006-01-18T00:25:21Z

What a turn for the worse weather-wise. I was planning on mailing out some things today, but when I walked out to get the mail to my vehicle, I slipped on the ice and collapsed in the courtyard. Rather interesting as I had absolutely -no- idea that there was any. It had been raining all morning, and the temperatures must have dropped when I wasn't looking. For those concerned, I'm fine though, I just have a pretty nasty bruise on my knee and was a bit scraped up on the hand, but nothing else.

On Monday night, I went to see a fantastic performance called 'Blast'. And most certainly it was just that! Percussion that made my heart pound in excitement. Extremely talented musicians all passionate about what they do best. After the encore was over, a few of the drummers played out in the lobby area of the theatre and were signing drumsticks that you purchased to support the team. However, as I was walking down the staircase, one of the trumpet soloists stopped me and asked me if I was a musician... _{I suppose it was because of my unusual way of 'artistic' expression in the way I carry myself and dress... -laughs- who knows?!}... I told him that I was a pianist... and he kissed my hand telling me never to stop. I just laughed and told him his solo was amazing. I never quite know how to react to such things.

But, I have included a sample of the music as I bought the cd... I wanted everyone to hear it! I will highly encourage anyone if 'Blast' comes to your area... go see them! From percussion, to brass... to dance... to the simple gift of a voice... it was stunning... vibrant... inspirational... and many many others. -Waratte- So enjoy these gifts... (and if anyone wants the rest of the music from the cd, let me know, and I will upload it for you.)

Medea-
http://s65.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0BPZNGYLO5OIC3LAJON6K2N4X3

And my favorite percussion song...

Marimba Spiritual_Earth Beat-
http://s65.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0UF8EM1DJBBG23CBM8FSRENKJ9

So check them out, and tell me what you think of them. I hope you all have a wonderful night. -Waratte-

A Walk in Winter...

2006-01-15T20:20:52Z

The snow has melted, and yet the temperatures remain ever so frozen. How the wind howled last night though. And the most disturbing dreams entered my head as I lay awake. Blistering gusts at high speeds swept away the fallen leaves. Twisting in crimson sheets and wishing that this awful night would pass. Screams echoed in my mind, seeming to leave me with no peace of sanity. But then again, when has this one ever been... sane? -Waratte- Nightmares perhaps, but so many at once. I shall tell you of one if you wish to know... but for those not interested, pass it by... I do not wish to startle any who do not know of what my nightmares consist of...

There I lay upon my bed, resting or insomnia, I do not know. But as I 'woke' I rose from my bed... and as I turned my head... I looked to my piano that rests beside me. Yet it was drenched in blood, and the most haunting tune played from it, one that I knew... but the title remained a mystery. As the keys pressed down, I could hear screams from within the echoing house. Doors creaked and moaned beneath the wind... and I felt a chill wrap around me. And then I woke...

Blushing fingertips leave me shivering from the walk I took. My nose pink and cheeks aglow. Ah, the winter is inspirational. How I love it. I was out for an hour in the freezing weather, and the wind whipped across my face. Making the temperature just about zero. -Waratte- This season is simply beautiful. My Mother came on this walk, and she took some pictures of the valley from the top of the mountain. Which you can find here...

The top of the mountain overlooking the valley. It was so clear!

My Daddy and I walking down the road. ^^ In other news as my Mom so kindly put it... "butt shot!" XD

And she took pictures of the house, but I've already shown you those, so... I will post two of the interior shots of our library. Our Christmas tree is still up... ^^

Can you find Berlioz? AKA... Mr. Swifter? Hehe.

And thus ends my eventful half of the day. -Waratte-

The Final Cut...

2006-01-09T23:53:39Z

As promised, here are the pictures of my hair cut. And the person with me, is my best friend Anji. She encouraged me... and inspired me to do this drastic change. So onto the...

Alright, so here is the result. After months of getting the courage to do it... here it is. I want everyone's opinion in full honesty!

But first, let me introduce you to the one who was there by my side as I felt like an arm was being cut off as I first heard the scissors tear through the strands...

Here you go... -bows-... so... what do you think?

It is so strange to get used to... so, here is another photoshoot that we did... different clothes... My kimono, without the obi. ^_~ (I didn't feel like putting it on)

Ah... my friend is so pretty... -waratte- _{Hai, Hotaru-chan... watashi no Nee-chan...}

And myself...

So leave a comment if you will, I'd... love to hear your opinion... -hugs to all-

Having returned home...

2006-01-09T16:52:54Z

First off, I want to mention how I missed all of you. The computer was of no access to me save the day before I got home. So hugs to everyone. Feel loved? Good! You are. ^^

This holiday was absolutely wonderful. I was happy, all the way through, with no nightmares. What a shock ne? Even though there was no snow on the ground the further I traveled south, I was still smiling. It was really my cup of tea or so to speak. Treated like royalty at my Aunt's house, (she still calls me her princess), and then bombarded with congratulations of graduation and presents. I was outside every night in the cold, just smiling.

Travelling onward in excitement to Virginia. I was thrilled to arrive. My friend was wedded on New Years Eve, -laughs- I even caught the bouquet. That was quite interesting to me. Considering that I haven't even dated before. -sly grin- Maybe this is reason for me to put up my guard hm? Well, I called my best friend and told her that I would spend New Years Eve with her. I showed up on her doorstep eight minutes til midnight. A mini celebration went on and much laughter.

I spent the next week at her house, and in that seven days... I started something I never thought I would ever ever begin. I've become a game addict to Final Fantasy. -sigh- I tried so hard... and alas... I have fallen. -laughs- And I love it!

Sushi and Thai food, oh it was heavenly. And then, come January 3rd at noon time... I took a step towards my own personal freedom. Let me give you a little bit of history before I tell you what happened hm? Since I was born, I have never cut my hair before. Trims... yes. Cuts... no. Thus I have always had long hair. Now, as for some, I have already mentioned that I was going to get my hair cut. And so I did. It is short, chin length. And so much fun! I decided to try my luck with the Japanese styled 'mullet'. So I'll let you guys tell me what you think ne? My next post will have pictures of the final result.

It is good to be back. And you know what that means... So if you need to get a hold of me. E-mail, posting, IM, or phone... I'll be here. -Waratte- Happy New Year minna-san!! -hugs for all-

Meri Kurisumasu...

2005-12-24T20:36:40Z

As of today, this will be my last journal entry for a while. I am heading up North for Christmas Eve, down South for Christmas Day, then further onto Virginia for New Years and the week or so after. ^^ I am really excited for the holiday cheer. Now hopefully I don't get sick or something awful like that. Because that would royally stink. Being around relatives or a lot of people in general kind of throws my system off. -sigh- But this will be a real test for the green tea! If I can survive this holiday season... I will never drink anything ever again l'est it be green tea. ^^ I wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and an Awesome New Year! Spread the cheer! Hug people! Then cuddle up by the fire and smile.

A Night at the Movies.

2005-12-22T00:59:49Z

Well, I have just come back from the theaters. And I must say for the whole of the people who watch my journal. King Kong ruled the screen. XD It was awesome! But I won't say much more than that, because I don't want to ruin it for anyone else. ^^

In other news, I must stay here now with my cousin who decided that he wanted to stay at the Castle on a Cloud. -le sigh- Not that I don't like him... it's just, he makes me feel uncomfortable. Truly like I am cramped in with no privacy whatsoever. Example, he walked into my room, even though the door was shut. Another? My room is kept spotless when I know there are people who wish to tour the house. And even when it isn't on display, I still stay relatively tidy. However... everything is put in its own special place. Many items in my room are antique and priceless, if not in value, then in sentimental. He came into my room, and picked up my Great Grandmother's Japanese fan. This possession looks old... it is old... so it should have respect when it is Placed Upon My Shelf...

Oh I should be happy, my family is here. But, when my mind feels tightened and pressured by other people, I can't be at rest. I can not wait for tomorrow, when we go up to my Mimi's. We'll go have dinner, and drop the cousin off. Thank you God for only making it one night.

The family is having steak, so I must make myself something. Perhaps some Thai food. -Waratte- Don't think I'm not content, I am, I have much to be thankful for. A loving family, a roof over my head, great friends, and knowing that each will be receiving a Christmas Card hopefully this year! ^_~ -Giggles and skips off-

Celebration... 31st!

2005-12-20T03:35:51Z

Currently the man is probably drinking away in Japan, but hey, we celebrate it a day afterwards, so why not come somewhere in the middle? -laughs- Ah well, I'm going to cheery and post this beautiful banner made by juripon of the crimson guitarist.

Whoo! 31 years, and he doesn't look a day past twenty!

_{Sub note... Cards were mailed today!}

And just because I feel like spamming my own journal. Enter the collection at your own risk. Die photos ahead! If you aren't interested... don't click! -laughs- But if you are... yea, come share the goodies. Warning... image heavy

Yes, I love the Final...

Finis!

2005-12-19T03:24:56Z

Today I signed the last of my Christmas Card stack. And tomorrow I will go to the post office and put the postage on all of them. ^^ All... 46 of them. (Those are the ones counted for friends, I have more for family). Aa, the joys of living around the world in a lifetime. -Waratte- Each is personally written and a piece of my strange mind. Lucky you. I am so excited to send these out. So for everyone that I've said I would mail a card out to on LJ, please tell me when/if you receive yours. I'm making a note of when these cards arrive so I can better plan my timing next year. _{Like starting a month in advance! -giggles-}

And a note, I've already received two cards... which I was thrilled to get. I leapt around in my room and twirled in glee. You'll be getting a more personalized 'thank you' on your journal or in an e-mail.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reach out to all of you. It has been so fun, and I am excited to spread the Christmas Spirit! -Waratte-

Survey...

2005-12-17T17:31:23Z

I don't normally fill these out, but this one was amusing. Snagged from peffkitten

Appearance
[x] I am shorter than 5'4. quiet all of you... yes I'm short...
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes. Not appearance wise...
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily. hahaha... no
[x] I wish my hair was a different color. It will be come New Years!
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[ ] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.Don't wear them often... save to drive.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles. Look closely!

Family/Home Life

[x] I've sworn at my parents. In which I have regretted afterwards...
[x] I've run away from home. For a while
[x] I've been kicked out of the house. I made my Mother mad, so I went to my friend's house for a week
[x]My biological parents are together.
[ ]I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday. Eh... no...my pets will be my kids
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work

[x] I'm in school.
[ ] I have a job. Will have one soon
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework. Ha!
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[x] I've stolen something from my job. Coffee from Starbucks and a mug
[ ] I've been fired.

Embarrassment

[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation. No
[x] Disney movies still make me cry. Bambi, Lion King, and the Fox and the Hound.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing. Best laugh ever
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. Water and tea
[x] I've had my pants rip in public. Good times...

Health

[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches.
[x] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[ ] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling

[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada. Want to go
[ ] I've been to Mexico. Don't want to go
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls. Want to go...
[ ] I've been to Japan. WILL go
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Been to New Orleans... but not durning Mardi Gras
[x] I've been to Europe.
[x] I've been to Africa. The coast

Experiences

[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. Accident I swear!
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car
[x] I've been skiing
[x] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships

[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I miss someone right now. Many
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[ ] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality

[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime

[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[ ] I have lied to my parents about where I am. Didn't have any need to
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world. Want to know? XD Too bad
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[x] I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol

[ ] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I've been drunk.
[ ] I regularly drink
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed Doesn't really count
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I have been diagnosed with depression. Do I listen? no
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed. I shut others out not just with depression though...
[ ] I take anti-depressants. Refuse to
[x] I'm anorexic or bulimic. Occasionally
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I'm addicted to self harm. Not proudly though
[x] I've woken up crying.

Death and Suicide

[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[ ] I hate funerals. I'm used to them
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide. Not that I would go through, but an honorable way to die.
[x] I've thought about suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[x] I've written a eulogy for myself. I'm in the process... it's been a couple years and I'm still writing

Materialism

[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an MP3 player.
[x] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. Well, maybe not obsession... but I am addicted
[x] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collect comic books. Manga...
[x] I own something from The Gap. I know people who work there... good sales...
[X] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random

[ ] I can sing well. I've been told I do... but I don't like to.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. Why...?
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I don't kill bugs. I set them outside
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[ ] I curse regularly. Not regularaly
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person. Now THAT is a laugh
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair
[x] I have "x"s in my screen name. In a couple
[ ] I love being neat but I'm not..
[ ] I love Spam
[x] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[x] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun.
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message. DSL baby
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish. Shut up...
[x] I love white chocolate
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] My answers are totally honest

Amused. ^^

2005-12-16T22:57:38Z

I just had to put this down because... I was amused by the result. Yay for Toshimasa Hara!

Your life with your Jrock Husband by keichan
Name:
You will marry	Toshiya (dir en grey)
On	June 17, 2018
In	your hometown (wherever that is)
Your combined income would be:	$86,627,402
you will last for (in years)	10
No. of Children you will have	2

Quiz created with MemeGen!

^^ That made my night... although, I'm now even more excited because my Aunt and Uncle are here. -flies down the staircase to go answer the door-

A Moment of Respect...

2005-12-15T21:03:40Z

Here amidst the bustle and rush of the Holiday Seasons. I would like to take a moment to reflect on some, not as cheerful days this year. Rest assured, that I am not depressed in any way. I am simply giving my respects... as I sat outside in the falling snow and thought of the passing year.

This year has brought to me many tears, yet moments of happiness as well. Amongst the memories, I will be placing some pictures in my moment of reflection...

Back in January... I can still remember traveling to and from Irish Dance on Wednesday nights. Tracking through the icy sidewalks, shuffling through snow. Standing outside of Bebop (Anji's car)and talking until we were so cold that we had to go inside. Those moments quickly faded as we moved on... Anji taking her path to learn the way of the Japanese sword. And much honor has been given to me knowing that she is my friend. -Waratte-

A few months later, I learned of the passing of a very good friend of mine in California... the stress of life I suppose was too great for her. The rejection of love, and as her heart was broken, she wrote a letter, leaving it for comfort after that swift movement would soon take her life. I can still see her cheerful smile. Her hand reaching out to me to wipe the tears she knew I would shed when I learned of her death. -bows head- There will always be a fond memory of her held close to my heart. Crimson taints the white...

My move from Virginia was a far from happy occasion. I left many of my friends behind. Ones who depended on me for support and comfort. Bitter thoughts and hidden emotions that were forced into silent anger. Hateful words exchanged where once there was happiness. Blame and pointed fingers of accusation. Blood staining the snow...

Take these crumbled hopes etched with tears. Traveling many miles to the sunny Keys of Florida. Spending many a happy moment. Concern still lining the thoughts as indeed there were many to filter through. Then, a smile... spending time with Hotaru as we walked the many miles in an oh so familiar convention center... So many happy moments...

Family strife... hateful words... terrible treachery within the closest of havens... warfare within my Sanctuary. A heavy heart and painfilled mind. Tears of anger and sorrow. Another death of a long fought struggle in a coma. Till we meet again...

Then perhaps I must say the most important thought in my mind. The happiness I feel when I know I have so many who are there. Shining smiles and newly spread wings. Thank you all. For making a difference in the Butterfly's life. Close your eyes and smile, can you see the pure white of the snow there? Douzo oshiawase ni... minna-san. With the snow comes new hopes... and a promise. Here, the New Year fast approaches. The spirit swelling within me. If I could, I would wrap my arms about you all, giving you this surplus of happiness that shine through these tears... -Waratte-

A Celluloid Christmas...

2005-12-14T03:35:08Z

Lights, Love and Lyrics. A night with the Williamsport Symphony Orchestra. I heard a few selections tonight from 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'... 'A Christmas Carol'...'It's A Wonderful Life'... and 'The Polar Express'... along with a bunch of Holiday hits. It was lovely! They played my favorite Christmas song of all time which is 'Carol of the Bells.' So I was pretty excited. Yes, alongside Jrock and all the other music I listen to... I love classical. So I dressed up and went out.

One of my more normal/informal dresses that I decided to throw on for the evening. ^^

My Uncle, Aunt and my little cousin arrived on Friday, and stopped by just yesterday for lunch. I shall post those pictures when I find a bit more time. -Waratte- I wish everyone a good evening.

Ari-chan in Wonderland...

2005-12-09T17:11:37Z

A Winter Wonderland perhaps you could say. Last night, the first snow storm hit my little city as I began to drive home. By the time I pulled into my driveway, there were 2 inches on the ground in 30 minutes or less. I stepped out of the vehicle and ran around like a child with arms spread open. I wish sometimes that I was not alone and that I could share these moments with someone... but... maybe I was not entirely alone. Because I didn't think about it last night. I laughed out loud and twirled in the heavily falling snow. My eyelashes were thick with snow! But now, I am going to give you what I woke up to. I slipped on my boots, grabbed my Snoopy plushie and walked outside with the digital camera in hand. So now, I give you...

Take my hand and walk out the sliding glass door to the courtyard where Hotarubi stands shivering in the morning light. He does look so cold!

Now, in our formal courtyard, we have two statues. And this morning they were covered with snow!

Look... it's Peter Pan!

Ten inches of snow... and here is the proof sitting upon our stone wall.

The sun just creeping through the trees...

Come visit me! And you will know you are at the right place when you see the three garage doors, and my room is right there behind the four windows. ^^

If you were to visit me, this is the way you would enter... through the gates... and into the courtyard...

My balcony on which I stood last night at midnight... strange.... I could feel another presence there.

Looking to my balcony from the courtyard... behind the Wysteria tree... -waratte-

One of the many trees covered in snow...

Looking back the way you came through the gates, you now stand about where the front door is.

Oh my dear Hotarubi... -hugs-

That pile of snow... is actually our inner courtyard's fountain. -giggle-

My little birdhouse is also covered in snow, I must get it uncovered for my friends...

Alright, let's go on a walk... I will take you down the path not yet plowed...

Look back, and we are surrounded in nothing but white...

A slight crashing sound as we turn, take my hand... there the trees are bending with weight of the snow. As they shake themselves free... the snow falls in a cloud of glistening white.

Snoopy was getting tired, so I let him sit for a while...

He started to make a snow angel! Tenshi no yuki...

After I joined him... we took a picture together...

Look down the hill and you can see my room from the road...

Yes, I'm still looking... and listening to the birds that sing brightly.

Staring down the path that I slid down to get to the other side of the house...

Walking around to catch a view of my parent's side of the house... the East wing...

Glance across the road and you will see the sun now coming out and casting golden streaks upon white...

Snapshot! You got me... ^_~

The trees are so beautiful now...

Here is my house...

Now I am off to go sledding... -hugs to all- Say goodbye Snoopy... -he waves- ^_~

Ja matta ne!-vui-

Retracing Threads...

2005-12-06T19:59:16Z

A while back I had posted some pictures of Hotarubi, with a promise that I would show his stages. Well, due to my scattered mind, I lost the digital camera disc I had taken the pictures on and have just now found it. _{After much yelling throughout the household for being careless.} But everything is fine now... and here I find myself retracing threads...

So here stands Hotarubi in a flaming vibrant red. He was very proud I think this day. Because the red only lasted for one 24 hour period before beginning to lose his leaves.

How much is that kitty in the window? -sings along to tune- Here is Berlioz keeping lookout from a tower!

And lastly I include this picture of a member of the family I have not yet shown on my LJ. This is my brother. After many weeks of distancing myself from him, I finally made up in my mind, that I will not hold it against him any longer. I do not remember why I do not smile in this picture... strange.

-waratte- But I smile now because I am able to show you Hotarubi. My next pictures of him make me feel sorry. For he is naked! -laughs- I know he is eager to show off his buds next Spring, and he will flaunt even more so!

Don't forget, I'm still making note of who wants Christmas cards this year.. so leave your address or e-mail it to me. Again... (Statement being made.. the periods are included in my e-mail!)

trail.of.butterflies@gmail.com

A simple note...

2005-12-06T00:52:26Z

Things are quite lovely this evening. I have spent the day decorating, reading, and sipping tea in my slippers. Now, here is a little request I have of all who read this... I am writing Christmas Cards this year... -gasp- ... And I would like to ask you to either post your address to me here, or if you do not feel comfortable for safety issues, send it via e-mail to me at

trail.of.butterflies@gmail.com

And here is something I stole from piratemedallion ^^

Your Birth Month is June

Peaceful and harmonious, you seek the gentle side of life.
Your warmth and consideration touches many.

Your soul reflects: Friendship, love, and beauty

Your gemstone: Pearl

Your flower: Rose

Your colors: Light blue, white, and cream

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

A beautiful morning...

2005-11-27T19:14:58Z

The air so crisp as footsteps tread upon the earth below. Tender words escape the lips of the one who walks alone. Though far from it... a light smile upon the lips that utter the song. Clasping a hand in the other as the pace quickens to a fleet-footed run. Through the memories of those passed away so long ago. The cold marble faces staring in their eternal resting places. A biting wind swirls the remains of the leaves fallen weeks ago. Take my hand... come fly with me... I can not assure you that my wings will hold up. But I do have hope... in you...

I have been encouraged somehow today. Perhaps it was the fact... that I smiled... a true smile. As I danced in my courtyards... when the Season's birds sang brightly to one another. In this moment, I can fly... and not alone. Never alone... hitori ja nai.

My japanese name is 小島 Kojima (small island) 美紅 Miku (beautiful crimson).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Snowflakes

2005-11-26T22:05:04Z

For the passed three or four days, my world has continued to be graced by the delicate dancing of snowflakes about my head. I went for a walk today with my Dad to clean my head. He took me on a path that was covered in leaves... and I felt like we were the only two alive. Even though he had a lot on his mind, he still managed to smile and make me feel like I was six again. It was an encouragement only he could give. I had much on my mind as well, and I think much of it could be followed to a common factor. My brother. But we continued to smile and talk care-free. Or as much as we could. After coming home, I made tea and served my family. Even my brother came to the table.

It's hard for me, to forgive him. He hurt me so much. I've distanced myself... made myself almost invisible in certain situations. It's like, for so many years he has wanted me to fear him... to notice him. To manipulate me like has the rest of my family. He feels that I am the threat to his survival in a selfish demeanor. I sat in my room the other night, drinking my green tea... and I could hear him yelling at my parents. In his own spiteful way. Any and every little thing he can use as a reason to well... blow up at the current situation.

I sat there in the middle of my carpet... and I found myself whispering words I never thought I would say... "I hate him..." -Sighs- I'm not sure where this life of mine will take me. And I feel like I am finally being defeated by him.

On a final light note... 0h_my_juliet created a new layout for me. Thank you so much irk3n!

Victorian Christmas

2005-11-20T00:13:34Z

Today was an eventful day. But perhaps in a very historical way. I first became a model for black vintage gowns, showing off this very nice jewelry. _{Side note, beautiful jewelry... ugly prices... so expensive!} Then, I walked over to the Victorian houses and began to give tours. From 12 in the afternoon, til 5pm. I was exhausted, but in a good way. I'm still giving tours in my head. -laughs slightly- But I have included pictures as you make your way...

You'll find the Library, stocked with books dating back to the 1700's... and yes, I'm going to stop there. But here in the first picture, you'll see one of the dresses I modeled. A vintage 1950's dress with a pink bow in the front. Second note for the night... I don't exactly like pink.

And if that wasn't bad enough... the Victorian dress I had to wear... was entirely... pink... frilly... and uncomfortable.

And this is the house I gave the tour of.

A picture taken with a dear friend of the family's. Her name is Nan. (I apologize for the lack of quality, our digital camera was being strange)

-Smiles- My Mother and I.

Another of us both.

My Father, in his noble gent suit.

My family... minus a brother... but this is one of my happy pictures right here. I smile everytime I see us three together.

Just me.

And that would be all. -waratte-